In our society, when one or both spouses have fallen out of love, divorce is often presented as the only option. However, according to an article in Psychology Today, falling out of love does not have to mean a choice between an unhappy marriage and a divorce. There are other options. They just require a shift in perspective.
There Is More To Marriage Than Love
Financial stability. Social connections. Parenting. These are just some of the many things that people get from a marriage. Love is just one component. Modern western culture treats love as the driving factor, and says that staying in a loveless marriage is a disservice to all involved, including the children. But is this true?
Why should a marriage come to an end just because the love has come to an end when there are so many other benefits? Why should people be made to feel that it’s wrong to reap the benefits of a marriage when the love is no longer there? Perhaps they shouldn’t.
We Invented The Rules Of Marriage And We Can Change Them
The article makes an important point: Marriage is something we invented. Not only do the rules vary dramatically all around the world, they are constantly in flux. In fact, more and more millennials are disregarding traditions and forging their own paths with their relationships. It is important that everyone realize that they have the right to do the same.
There is nothing unethical about staying in a marriage for reasons other than love. There is nothing immoral or unhealthy in transitioning to what is referred to as a parenting marriage. Furthermore, there is absolutely nothing wrong with staying in a marriage and taking the time to plan for a divorce that may not even take place until the children have reached a certain age. In fact, the article argues, this could even be “the responsible thing to do.” It will require clear communication and strength, but it is possible to redefine a marriage as being about something other than love and be happy in the process.
When Divorce Truly Is The Right Choice
While it is important that people understand that there are more options than they may think, it is also critical to understand when divorce truly is the right choice. When there are addiction issues, mental health issues, abuse or other problems, staying married might not be an option.
If divorce is the right choice for you, it is worthwhile to discuss the matter with an experienced family law attorney to ensure that your needs are protected as you bring your marriage to a conclusion. Even if you plan to stay in your marriage and divorce at a later time, an attorney can offer you guidance on what you can do now to help you position yourself for a successful transition out of your marriage.