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When Avoiding Marital Conflict Makes It Worse

Successful marriages do not just require a sense of love and commitment. Both spouses should respect each other and attempt to gain a sense of understanding when they come to a rough spot. While couples that are seen constantly bickering do not appear like they will have a long relationship, those that take excessive measures to avoid conflict may end up dooming their marriage instead of saving it.

Watch Out For Signs

The digital lifestyle site Fatherly recently put out an article listing the most common personality traits that lead to divorce. Most of the traits such as selfishness, narcissism and materialism are more obvious to pick up on since they are qualities you would not want to see in anyone, let alone your spouse.

However, two traits stand out because they focus more on preventing a fight rather than causing one. They found that avoiding arguments can lead to the destruction of a marriage because arguing is essential for progressing the relationship. Couples need to be allowed to express their grievances so they can solve the problem together and improve their communication towards each other. While excessive arguing may be a bad sign, consistently putting them off means you might be delaying the inevitable.

The second sign is compulsive caregiving. They find that those who give too much gifts to their spouse might be trying to establish dominance in the relationship. It does not make both partners feel equal in the relationship. Many spouses with faulty marriages also use this tactic to avoid arguments as they predict that giving the other spouse a gift would make them forget about the conflict and see their relationship under a more positive light. It can be both financially and emotionally damaging if it goes on for too long.

Necessary Vs. Unnecessary Conflict

Getting into an argument with your loved one is never a pleasant experience. You express and listen to emotions that you dread hearing and question if you made the right call marrying your spouse.

However, some of these clashes are essential towards determining your future. Reaching an understanding in your argument can enforce your relationship and minimize the chances of getting into conflict with that subject again. On the other hand, some of these disputes can point out major unsolvable problems in your marriage. While you may try to cover them up to avoid a potential divorce, you may be doing a disservice to yourself and your spouse in the process. The divorce process is sometimes essential towards rebuilding your life after a mistake.

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Scardina Law
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Denver, CO 80218

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